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 Jr. Weyrwomen Rose- Approved

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LightningRip
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Posts : 274
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 19
Location : SMALL country town in Texas, USA.

PostSubject: Jr. Weyrwomen Rose- Approved    Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:43 am

Dragongirl wrote:

Rider Form

Name:Rose
Age in Turns: 22
Gender: Female
Appearance: http://www.agriphoto.nl/pma/Art/wood103.jpg
Rose is an average size young woman who has black shoulder length hair pulled up into a bun. To avoid her hair flying in her face well flying. Her eye's are brown. She take care to appear decent in front of other. So if she is sad or angry she tends to hide it from others around her.
Personality: Rose is a friendly, loyal and determined young women. Almost everyone likes her.
Pets:
Background: The daughter of a female Guildedrider and Male Brownrider. She attend the impression assuming she would have a similar type of dragon to her parents. She watch in amazement as a silver hatched. She watch as silver darted into the coward worried she was about to be trampled she braced herself, instead the dragon looked directly at her telling Rose it name was,Florath. With the older Weyrs crumbling she recently became a Junior Weyrwoman.


Name:
Florath
Age in Turns: 8 Turns
Color: Silver
Personality:Florath is very protective of Rose and had a motherly type of personality. Though sh is also a good listener too.
Identifiable Marks: she has dark splotches under her wings.
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LightningRip
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PostSubject: Re: DG's Character   Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:59 am

Post by Zephyr, from other site.

Ok, Ive moved this to the correct forum, as the one you posted it in is for staff to talk about others new charries in privet.

Now, to assess the character.
You have not used the correct form, the correct form is in here.

So you should have had this form
Candidate Form
Name:
Age in Turns: Note: Candidates are 12-20 for males and 14-22 for females.
Appearance:
Personality:
Pets:
Background:
What you wish to Impress:


But because you have an "instant rider" by defalt, it would be modified to this
Rider Form
Name:
Age in Turns: Note: Riders are 14+ for males and 16+ for females, with Jr WW being at least 20.
Appearance:
Personality:
Pets:
Background:


With the Dragon Form added.
Name: (must end in Th)
Age in Turns: (dragons mature at 18months to 2 turns old)
Color: (besides a few I have approved, no instant Queen or Bronze ranks, please)
Personality: (please keep with the theam of the breed personality, found in the library)
Identifiable marks: (splotches, scores, markings, headknobs ext)

And for what you have written thus far.

Quote :
Character name: Rose Light
On Pern, only Traders have surnames, and they are the names of their caravan.

Quote :
Gender: Female
I actually forgot to put this in the forms, so thanks for adding it!

Quote :
when she flying/fighting.
and
Quote :
Fighting clothe: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:U8K1cRn-1AoqRM:http://illiweb.com/fa/pbucket.gif&t=1
Riders do not "fight" in a traditional sense, their dragons "fight" the thread that falls from the sky by breathing fire on it, but thread is mindless and does not attack back. Dragons and Dragonriders never attack each other.

Quote :
Normal/street clothes:Pink t-shirt with blue jeans and jacket.
1) Dragonriders almost always ware their riding gear
2) there is no T-shirts or denim on Pern.
This is the typical Riding gear for dragon riders:

And typical casual gear:



Quote :
She can get a bit defensive if teased about being a bit different from an average humans.
Dragonriders are the most respected people on the planet and have big dragons who can eat bullies. And as Junior WW, she is one of the most respected Dragonriders out there.

Post by Zephyr, from other site.
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LightningRip
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PostSubject: Re" DG's Character   Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:23 am

Post by Zephyr, other site.

Quoting to show typos (typos will be bolded and corrected)
Dragongirl wrote:

Rose is an average size young woman who has black shoulder length hair pulled up into a bun, To avoid her hair flying in her face when flying. Her eye's are brown. She take care to appear decent in front of other, so if she is sad or angry, she tends to hide it from others around her.
Personality: Rose is a friendly, loyal and determined young women. Almost everyone likes her.
Pets:
Background: The daughter of a Brownrider and Bluerider. She attend the impression assuming she would impress a similar type of dragon to her parents. She watch in amazement as a silver hatched. She assumed it would choose someone that was near the front of the crowd, and Rose was in the middle of the crowd. She watch the silver look around and was shocked to see it moving towards the middle of the crowd. The dragon looked directly at her, telling Rose it name was Florath.


Name: Florath
Age in Turns: 8 Turns
Color: Silver
Personality: (please keep with the theam of the breed personality, found in the library)
Identifiable marks: (splotches, scores, markings, headknobs ext)

Ok, now for little things I need to knitpick. You would need to state the gender of the parents, because both blue and brown are most commanly male, and any female riders of those colored dragosn would be wither Homosexual or Bisexual.
Seccond, dragonetts will charge headfirst into crowds looking for their lifemates, and offten injure people, occasionaly fatally.
Third, In a hatching, all the candidates stand in lines of about 10, each line a few meaters apart, all around the hatching sands. So if it were a big hatching, there may be up to 100 candidates in 10 lines around sands.


Post by Zephyr, other site.
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LightningRip
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PostSubject: Re: Dg's Character   Mon Aug 16, 2010 4:23 am

Post by Zephyr, other site.


Ok, approved!


Post by Zephyr, other site.
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